(This is very much under construction. Expect pictures and things soon!)
June 2002:
"Don't Fence Me Out."
(sung to the tune of "Don't Fence Me In")
Just give me room on the shelves with the sweaters up above.
Don't fence me out.
Let me clatter through the dishes in the cupboard that I love.
Don't fence me out.
.
Please let me roam past the door where the closet commences,
Wandry over laundry 'til I loose my senses.
I don't like doorknobs and I can't stand fences.
Don't fence me out.
July 2002:
For July, we've decided to do some patriotic songs, one for the Fourth
of July, and one for Bastille Day. I suppose you humans won't call these
patriotic, but we're not humans, we're cats.
"This Couch Is My Couch"
(sung to the tune of "This Land is Your Land")
This couch is MY COUCH
This couch is MY COUCH
from the ripped up cushions
to the sun-soaked pillows
from the tattered arm-rests
to the shredded back panel
this couch was made for just my claws
"Arise Hungry Cats"
(sung to the tune of "La Marseillaise")
Arise you hungry cats from everywhere
the can of tuna has arrived
Listen to the can opener grind
smell the albacore in the air
smell the albacore in the air
packed in fresh pure spring water
but wait, make sure you get your share!
We know that humans only give
a small portion to their friendly felines.
To paws, kitty cats!
Run under foot real fast
Trip up, trip up, make sure they fall
and drop it on the floor!
August 2002
We don't suggest you sing this song at dinner. At least not if you don't
want people to yell at you. If you like people to yell and get sick, sing
it at the top of your lungs, and repeat it extra times. It is great for
doing cat conga-lines, too.
"Da Fern with De Tunafish"
(to the tune of "Coconut" by Harry Nilsson)
Bubba got some tunafish, he had a bit to spare.
Toogie had a fern, he traded for a share.
They put the fern with the tuna fish and ate them both up (repeat 3X)
They put the fern with the tuna fish and called the vet and woke him
up
to say "Doctor! Is there nothing we can take?" we say "Doctor!
To relieve this belly ache?"
"Doctor! Is there nothing we can take?" we say "Doctor!
To relieve this belly ache?"
.
Now let me get this straight...
You put the fern with the tunafish and ate them both up (repeat 3X)
You put the fern with the tunafish and called the vet and woke him
up
to say "Doctor! Is there nothing we can take?" You say "Doctor!
To relieve this belly ache?"
"Doctor! Is there nothing we can take?" You say "Doctor!
To relieve this belly ache?"
.
I'll tell you what to do
You eat the fern with the tunafish and throw them up together
Puke the fern with the tunafish and then you feel better
You eat the fern with the tunafish and throw them up together
Puke the fern with the tunafish and call me in the morning.
.
You're such a silly kitty!
You eat the fern with the tunafish and throw them both up, (repeat
for a long time)
You eat the fern with the tunafish and leave them on the rug!
Bubba's October Cat Song 2002:
This month's song is dedicated to that monstrous, over-sized Maine Coon
"Kitten in Clown Shoes": Andromeda
TailTwister Took. (She's bigger than both of us now. Well, not both
at the same time--but bigger than either of us.)
"The Loco-Kitten"
(sung to the tune of "The Locomotion")
Everybody's playing a brand new game now.
Come on kitty, do the Loco-Kitten.
If you didn't play it hard it would be a shame now.
Come on kitty, do the Loco-Kitten.
.
You don't have to be a kitten, you can be all grown.
You can even do all of it when you're all on your own.
So come on, come on, and do the Loco-Kitten with me.
.
You've got to chase your tail now.
Come on, kitty. Jump high! Flop down!
And then you act just like a clown!
.
Whoa-o-ooo.
.
Now that you can do it, let's go insane, now.
Come on kitty, do the Loco-Kitten.
Get yourself a-moving and don't be restrained now.
Come on kitty, do the Loco-Kitten.
.
You arch your back and spit, and you pounce on your mouse.
You skitter and you scramble all over the house.
So come on, come on, and do the Loco-Kitten with me.
.
You've got to chase your tail now.
Come on, kitty. Jump high! Flop down!
And then you act just like a clown!
November 2002:
Turkey Day Song
(sung to the tune of "Over the River, and Through the Woods)
Over the counters and through the pie
Around the house we run!
The turkey smells good, and we really should
get lots of treats and fun
.
Ohhhhhh!
.
Let's snag the liver and turkey leg
Run fast and eat our loot!
An oyster we got from the stuffing pot,
Thanksgiving is such a hoot!
December2002: A Cat-mas Carol
We Three Cats
(sung to the tune of "We Three Kings")
We three cats of Orient do
help our mom wrap presents for you.
Paper crinkles oh so beautifully.
Give us some stuff to chew.
.
Ohhhh OHHHHHHHH,
Sit on paper, sit on bows. Get the tape stuck on your toes.
Get your tail wrapped up in ribbons. Don't let scissors cut your nose.
.
We three cats just love to explore
right where mommy's doing her chores.
Lay right there and shred the paper.
Knock presents on the floor.
.
Ohhhh OHHHHHHHH,
Sit on paper, sit on bows. Get the tape stuck on your toes.
Get your tail wrapped up in ribbons. Don't let scissors cut your nose.
.
We three cats shut out of the room
howling like we're meeting our doom.
Mommy scorns our help, what's wrong with her?
Guess we'll just sit and fume
.
Ohhhh OHHHHHHHH,
Sit on paper, sit on bows. Get the tape stuck on your toes.
Get your tail wrapped up in ribbons. Don't let scissors cut your nose.
January 2003
"ZAP! Electricity"
(sung to the tune of "Stop! In The Name of Love" by Diana Ross
and the Supremes)
Rita thought it was time for us to write a serious song about important
cat issues. And for a long-haired cat, there is no more important issue
in winter than static electricity!
ZAP! Electricity,
is going through my fur.
ZAP! Electricity,
that static really hurts.
Please don't tou-ouch me!
Please don't tou-ouch me!
.
In every winter
the air gets dry,
then static gathers
and sparks will fly.
The static cling is so strong now,
cats stick to the walls like balloon cows.
Then people shuffle feet on rugs
and give cats lightening hugs
(Please don't touch me) Can't you go and zap the dog?
(Please don't touch me) Can't you please go zap the dog?
.
ZAP! Electricity
is going through my fur.
ZAP! Electricity
that static really hurts.
Please don't tou-ouch me!
Please don't tou-ouch me!
February 2003
"In The Sun" (a winter lament)
(sung to the tune of "Homeward Bound" by Paul Simon)
I'm laying on the rug and waitin'
for the clouds to show some moderation
Ooo-oo Oooo.
But Februrary is so gray
and it's so cold and wet today
the dreary chills just make me say
I really really want to play
in the sun.
I wish I was
in the sun.
.
Sun! Where the warmth is flowin'
Sun! Where the light is glowin'
Sun! Where my pulse is slowin'
as I roll, happy.
March 2003
"Little Mousies"
(sung to the tune of Little Boxes, by Malvina Reynolds as often sung
by Pete Seeger. If you haven't heard it, it's kind of a waltzing tune.)
Little mousies
in the baseboards,
little mousies making scratchy sounds
I can't get them
but I smell them
and I hear them in the wood
.
I imagine
it's a door mouse
or a field mouse
or a catnip mouse
and they all make little scratchy sounds
and they all taste really good
April 2003
"Get Down, You'll Shatter That Vase!"
(sung to the tune of "Sit Down, You're Rockin' the Boat" from
Guys and Dolls.)
I dreamed last night I was in the china cupboard
and a great big moth came and flew around my head
and there I sat, and I swatted at it madly
and then I heard a human voice that said:
.
And the people all said "Get down!
Get down you'll shatter that vase!"
And the people all said "Get down!
You don't belong in that place!"
And the humans will drag you off there
by the furry scruff 'round your furry face
Get down! Get down! Get down! Get down!
Get down, you'll shatter that vase!
.
I dreamed last night was sleeping on the sofa
and a great big dog came and ran around the house!
And I got up, and I lept upon the mutt's back
but all the human's did was start to grouse!
And the people all said "Get down!
Get down you'll injure that mutt!
And the people all said "Get down!
That's something you're gonna regret!
And the humans will kick you off there
with a great big boot on your furry butt
Get down! Get down! Get down! Get down!
Get down, you'll injure that mutt!
Get down! Get down! Get down! Get down!
Get down, you'll shatter that vase!
May 2003
"In Love With A Wonderful Herb"
(sung to the tune of "I'm In Love With A Wonderful Guy"
from South Pacific)
